Swimming in the Great Salt Lake

Once, on the way home from California, friends and I drove through Salt Lake City. Remembering the strange experience of swimming in the Great Salt Lake long time ago, we decided to stop and try it again.

"Girls, I sink like a rock every time I try to float!" Anita, the tallest among us, answered. "You won't here," I promised her. And of course she did not because the Great Salt Lake assists even the most leaden among us to float effortlessly.

In life, a big help in establishing a safety net is finding buoyant emotional waters that can support us when we feel in danger of drowning. In addition, it is essential that we create an atmosphere around us that helps us stay on top of the water rather than thrash and struggle through it. But, how do we do this?

Choose to be around people who are up-lifters, rather than like weights around our necks. This is very crucial in establishing an environment that helps keep us afloat. Up-lift people accept us as we are and are truly interested in us. They are kind and do not put us down or demean us in any way. In their presence, we feel good.

Of course, it is essential that our internal voices are up-lifters, too. Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic. We must always speak to ourselves in supportive and encouraging ways because even surrounded by the most buoyant people, if we speak to ourselves in concrete-shoe way, we will sink.

Our voice is one ever-present voice in our life. Therefore, it is crucial that our self-talk instill confidence within us. It must be supportive, not submerging to help keep our spirits afloat. Positive thinking together with acceptance and trust of our own selves makes us the most effective, and influential buoy.

Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every part of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can raise your self-esteem to a healthy level, even if you're an adult who's been harboring a negative self-image since childhood.

Changing the way you think about yourself and your life is essential to boosting self-esteem. These five steps toward healthy self-esteem are based on cognitive behavior therapy principles. As you go through these five steps, jotting down your thoughts, experiences and observations in a journal or daily record may help you use these steps more effectively.

Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations

Think about what conditions or situations about your life you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem. You may wish to change aspects of your personality or behavior, such as a fear of giving a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst.

Step 2: Become aware of beliefs and thoughts

Once you've identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — as well as your interpretation of what a situation means and your beliefs about yourself, other people and events.

Step 3: Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking

Your beliefs and thoughts about a condition or situation affect your reaction to it. Negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger unhealthy physical, emotional and behavioral responses, including physical responses such as a stiff neck, sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or change in sleeping patterns.

Step 4: Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking

These kinds of thought patterns tend to erode self-esteem. Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are simply opinions or perceptions. Ask yourself whether your view of a situation is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations.

Step 5: Change your thoughts and beliefs

The final step is to replace the negative or inaccurate thinking you've identified with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope and give your self-esteem a boost. These strategies may help you approach situations in a healthy way:

* Use hopeful statements. Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you think your presentation isn't going to go well, you may indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation."

* Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake but that doesn't make me a bad person."

* Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be setting unreasonable demands on yourself — or others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.

* Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, "What other things have gone well recently?" "What personal skills do I have that have helped me cope with challenging situations in the past?"

* Relabel upsetting thoughts. Having negative thoughts doesn't mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, "Which of my strengths can help me respond in a constructive way?" "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"

* Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Treat yourself as well as you'd treat a loved one. Tell yourself, "I did a good job on the presentation. It may not have been perfect, but my colleagues said it was good."


With practice, these steps may come more easily to you. You'll be better able to recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem. Because self-esteem can fluctuate over time, you may want to revisit these steps, especially if you begin to feel down on yourself again. Keeping a journal or daily log can help you track trouble spots over time.

Positive thinking brings inner peace, success, improved relationships, better health, happiness and satisfaction. It also helps the daily affairs of life move more smoothly, and makes life look bright and promising.

Pray:

God, please buoy up my spirit
Cleanse me of negative thoughts
Surround me with love, support and care
Teach me to be hopeful and understanding
Help me create an environment in which it is
possible for me to float
I trust that in Your hands,
I will be more than what I desire to be
Amen.

I Remember My Trip Up The Coast Of California And Oregon

On a trip up the coast of California and Oregon, I learned a valuable lesson about mutual support from the majestic Redwood trees thriving there.

The coast redwood grows in the mountains and valleys along the central and northern California coast. The climactic conditions of wet winters and foggy summers support the redwood's need for water. The tallest coast redwoods grow to a height of 300 to 350 feet. Their trunks can measure 25 across. But what may actually be more amazing than how big the redwoods are or how tall they stand is how long they stand and the fact that, despite their large, wind_catching limbs and their very shallow roots, they stand firm against the strongest storms and the wildest wind.

I see Redwoods as inclusive beings. As they grow they incorporate into their basic structure objects around them, including rocks and other trees. Although Redwoods have shallow roots they are noted for their strength and longevity because they share their roots with others.

Each individual tree is invited into the whole to help support the group. This nature's strategy appears to have worked for redwoods are among the oldest living things on earth.

Human energy is naturally inclusive and in order to survive and thrive, we need to learn to consciously share our roots with others. Humans must learn to ask for support when they need it, and stand ready to give the same to those who come to ask.

Eve, a close friend, is a single mother. She have been struggling with the idea of returning to graduate school. For months she kept this desire to herself for fear of appearing immature and needy. But when she finally opened her heart to several friends who had gone back to school, she was encouraged and supported by them. They included her in their root system. As a result, Eve gained a clearer view of her next step. Because of her courage to ask for help, she put an end to her confusion and found a support group that understood her circumstances.

In the process of creating support systems, we need to be sure that those with whom we choose to share our feelings can be trusted. The best way to ascertain the trustworthiness of others is by monitoring your feelings as you talk to them. If you feel understood, you have found a grove of like-minded Redwoods.

By sharing our roots of compassion and support, like the Redwoods in California , we create a safety net in which the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Their secret is simple: Redwoods grow together in groves and intertwine their shallow roots. Thus, the roots of one tree in the grove are the roots of all the trees, interlaced underground and able to hold each tree upright no matter what kind of gale goes on above.

Let us learn how the Redwoods grow together and stand together, appreciating and intertwining their roots, staying in parallel harmony with each other and remaining perpendicular to the ground.

Prayer:

Father, let me have the courage to ask for support

when I need it.

In return, let me always be willing to support others

when they need it.

Amen.

TEARS FOR FEAR

Is there a bully in your life? A big bulk who loves to make you cry? Beside this person you feel very tiny but very angry.

We often allow ourselves to be deeply wounded by the actions of people around us. Sometimes, we even feel guilty and irrationally think that it is our fault if people treat us badly.

For years Fiona was at the mercy of her husband's temper. She was terrified by his outbursts. Faced with his fury, she would appease him, suppressing her own feelings in the hopes that he would calm down. Her husband did and said things that wounded her deeply.

Finally, cautiously she began to work on setting limits in their relationship. She talked to therapist and went to life coaching meetings to help her have the courage to break the destructive pattern she was in with her husband.

On the eve of their travel to Hawaii, her husband blew up again and said they were not going. Calmly, she continued to pack for the trip. With sadness but without anger, she told him she was sorry he felt as he did. Calmly, she said that she is emotionally devastated because she had been looking forward to having their second honeymoon. But, whatever it takes, she was going to tour Hawaii without him.

Getting to that point took tremendous courage for Fiona. She disallowed tears, faced her fears and triumphed. Her husband apologized for his outbursts and they had a wonderful second honeymoon.

Do not be afraid of the bully in your life. Stand up against this person not with anger but with kindness. However, if you are constantly grieving, in tears or in pain, it may take more time for that bit of courage to surface.

These courageous acts can be very simple. Think that we are not to blame for the actions of others, and that we do not need to be their target. We can train ourselves to always remember that we are not responsible for what anyone else does or says. We do not need to fix anyone else's attitude or circumstances, even if people insist on projecting their unfinished business unto us.


Prayer:

Thank you Jesus for blessing me
With friends of all kinds
Some may make my life heavier
But they make my heart braver

Some days when I am in tears
For fear of anger at me
Help me remember that
I have the courage
To move and act even when
I am afraid

Amen.