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Is there a bully in your life? A big bulk who loves to make you cry? Beside this person you feel very tiny but very angry.
We often allow ourselves to be deeply wounded by the actions of people around us. Sometimes, we even feel guilty and irrationally think that it is our fault if people treat us badly.
For years Fiona was at the mercy of her husband's temper. She was terrified by his outbursts. Faced with his fury, she would appease him, suppressing her own feelings in the hopes that he would calm down. Her husband did and said things that wounded her deeply.
Finally, cautiously she began to work on setting limits in their relationship. She talked to therapist and went to life coaching meetings to help her have the courage to break the destructive pattern she was in with her husband.
For years Fiona was at the mercy of her husband's temper. She was terrified by his outbursts. Faced with his fury, she would appease him, suppressing her own feelings in the hopes that he would calm down. Her husband did and said things that wounded her deeply.
Finally, cautiously she began to work on setting limits in their relationship. She talked to therapist and went to life coaching meetings to help her have the courage to break the destructive pattern she was in with her husband.
On the eve of their travel to Hawaii, her husband blew up again and said they were not going. Calmly, she continued to pack for the trip. With sadness but without anger, she told him she was sorry he felt as he did. Calmly, she said that she is emotionally devastated because she had been looking forward to having their second honeymoon. But, whatever it takes, she was going to tour Hawaii without him.
Getting to that point took tremendous courage for Fiona. She disallowed tears, faced her fears and triumphed. Her husband apologized for his outbursts and they had a wonderful second honeymoon.
Do not be afraid of the bully in your life. Stand up against this person not with anger but with kindness. However, if you are constantly grieving, in tears or in pain, it may take more time for that bit of courage to surface.
These courageous acts can be very simple. Think that we are not to blame for the actions of others, and that we do not need to be their target. We can train ourselves to always remember that we are not responsible for what anyone else does or says. We do not need to fix anyone else's attitude or circumstances, even if people insist on projecting their unfinished business unto us.
Prayer:
Thank you Jesus for blessing me
With friends of all kinds
Some may make my life heavier
But they make my heart braver
Some days when I am in tears
For fear of anger at me
Help me remember that
I have the courage
To move and act even when
I am afraid
Amen.
Getting to that point took tremendous courage for Fiona. She disallowed tears, faced her fears and triumphed. Her husband apologized for his outbursts and they had a wonderful second honeymoon.
Do not be afraid of the bully in your life. Stand up against this person not with anger but with kindness. However, if you are constantly grieving, in tears or in pain, it may take more time for that bit of courage to surface.
These courageous acts can be very simple. Think that we are not to blame for the actions of others, and that we do not need to be their target. We can train ourselves to always remember that we are not responsible for what anyone else does or says. We do not need to fix anyone else's attitude or circumstances, even if people insist on projecting their unfinished business unto us.
Prayer:
Thank you Jesus for blessing me
With friends of all kinds
Some may make my life heavier
But they make my heart braver
Some days when I am in tears
For fear of anger at me
Help me remember that
I have the courage
To move and act even when
I am afraid
Amen.
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