Swimming in the Great Salt Lake

Once, on the way home from California, friends and I drove through Salt Lake City. Remembering the strange experience of swimming in the Great Salt Lake long time ago, we decided to stop and try it again.

"Girls, I sink like a rock every time I try to float!" Anita, the tallest among us, answered. "You won't here," I promised her. And of course she did not because the Great Salt Lake assists even the most leaden among us to float effortlessly.

In life, a big help in establishing a safety net is finding buoyant emotional waters that can support us when we feel in danger of drowning. In addition, it is essential that we create an atmosphere around us that helps us stay on top of the water rather than thrash and struggle through it. But, how do we do this?

Choose to be around people who are up-lifters, rather than like weights around our necks. This is very crucial in establishing an environment that helps keep us afloat. Up-lift people accept us as we are and are truly interested in us. They are kind and do not put us down or demean us in any way. In their presence, we feel good.

Of course, it is essential that our internal voices are up-lifters, too. Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic. We must always speak to ourselves in supportive and encouraging ways because even surrounded by the most buoyant people, if we speak to ourselves in concrete-shoe way, we will sink.

Our voice is one ever-present voice in our life. Therefore, it is crucial that our self-talk instill confidence within us. It must be supportive, not submerging to help keep our spirits afloat. Positive thinking together with acceptance and trust of our own selves makes us the most effective, and influential buoy.

Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every part of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can raise your self-esteem to a healthy level, even if you're an adult who's been harboring a negative self-image since childhood.

Changing the way you think about yourself and your life is essential to boosting self-esteem. These five steps toward healthy self-esteem are based on cognitive behavior therapy principles. As you go through these five steps, jotting down your thoughts, experiences and observations in a journal or daily record may help you use these steps more effectively.

Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations

Think about what conditions or situations about your life you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem. You may wish to change aspects of your personality or behavior, such as a fear of giving a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst.

Step 2: Become aware of beliefs and thoughts

Once you've identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — as well as your interpretation of what a situation means and your beliefs about yourself, other people and events.

Step 3: Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking

Your beliefs and thoughts about a condition or situation affect your reaction to it. Negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger unhealthy physical, emotional and behavioral responses, including physical responses such as a stiff neck, sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or change in sleeping patterns.

Step 4: Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking

These kinds of thought patterns tend to erode self-esteem. Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are simply opinions or perceptions. Ask yourself whether your view of a situation is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations.

Step 5: Change your thoughts and beliefs

The final step is to replace the negative or inaccurate thinking you've identified with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope and give your self-esteem a boost. These strategies may help you approach situations in a healthy way:

* Use hopeful statements. Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you think your presentation isn't going to go well, you may indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation."

* Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake but that doesn't make me a bad person."

* Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be setting unreasonable demands on yourself — or others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.

* Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, "What other things have gone well recently?" "What personal skills do I have that have helped me cope with challenging situations in the past?"

* Relabel upsetting thoughts. Having negative thoughts doesn't mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, "Which of my strengths can help me respond in a constructive way?" "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"

* Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Treat yourself as well as you'd treat a loved one. Tell yourself, "I did a good job on the presentation. It may not have been perfect, but my colleagues said it was good."


With practice, these steps may come more easily to you. You'll be better able to recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem. Because self-esteem can fluctuate over time, you may want to revisit these steps, especially if you begin to feel down on yourself again. Keeping a journal or daily log can help you track trouble spots over time.

Positive thinking brings inner peace, success, improved relationships, better health, happiness and satisfaction. It also helps the daily affairs of life move more smoothly, and makes life look bright and promising.

Pray:

God, please buoy up my spirit
Cleanse me of negative thoughts
Surround me with love, support and care
Teach me to be hopeful and understanding
Help me create an environment in which it is
possible for me to float
I trust that in Your hands,
I will be more than what I desire to be
Amen.