Reframe Family Pictures

Almost all us have moments in our past when we felt loved and supported. Remembering those good times facilitates healing and bolsters our belief in our own loveability.

However, if we are suffering of guilt over how we have been parenting our children, it is especially important that we accentuate our functional behavior in order to build on it. In learning to lovingly re-parent ourselves, it is a good idea to look at the family album we carry inside our heads.

Some of the snapshots will evoke happy memories and warm fuzzy feelings while others may seem more like potshots aimed hurtfully at us. A great many of our internal images were developed when we were young and had child's less-than-powerful perspective. As adults, we now have the authority to reframe painful memories much the same way we might change the frames of pictures displayed on the piano.

Give yourself some time to mentally browse through the photos you have accumulated from your past. Choose one or two that seem to call attention. Very gently become the child you see there. Even more gently ask what the child wants and needs from you.

Are you willing to fulfill the wish? If you feel loving and protective of the child, allow your adult self to comfort in the ways the child requests. But, if you do not feel good toward the child, you can bring into your mind's eye a protector who does feel love for the child. Allow this individual to care for the child.

With the help of either your adult self or the protector you call in to assist, redevelop the uncomfortable snapshot into a picture in which the child is safe and happy. Sense the feeling of that life from that viewpoint. Then absorb and claim those feelings as rightfully yours. Now, put your new memory in a picture, in a beautiful, valuable frame and display it in a prominent place.

There will be times in your life you find yourself reverting to the distressful feelings of the original picture. Move your thoughts to the new one, stay there, concentrate and remind yourself that as as an empowered adult, you can reframe your child's painful experience. We get so used to seeing these framed pictures that we eventually just accept them as reality. But if we remember they’re really framed pictures, we understand that we can reframe them any time we choose and in so doing open up a whole new way of seeing the world. We suddenly see something we’ve been looking at forever in an entirely new light.

Accentuating the functional encourages us to trust ourselves. It give us a surplus of strength we can draw on for support when we need to look at dysfunctions in our life. It aids healing process and bolsters faith for the best.

Prayer:

Lord, heal my aching heart
Give rest to my spinning mind
Keep peace in my difficult soul
Ease my pain and bind my wound
Amen.

I Remember My Trip Up The Coast Of California And Oregon

On a trip up the coast of California and Oregon, I learned a valuable lesson about mutual support from the majestic Redwood trees thriving there.

The coast redwood grows in the mountains and valleys along the central and northern California coast. The climactic conditions of wet winters and foggy summers support the redwood's need for water. The tallest coast redwoods grow to a height of 300 to 350 feet. Their trunks can measure 25 across. But what may actually be more amazing than how big the redwoods are or how tall they stand is how long they stand and the fact that, despite their large, wind_catching limbs and their very shallow roots, they stand firm against the strongest storms and the wildest wind.

I see Redwoods as inclusive beings. As they grow they incorporate into their basic structure objects around them, including rocks and other trees. Although Redwoods have shallow roots they are noted for their strength and longevity because they share their roots with others.

Each individual tree is invited into the whole to help support the group. This nature's strategy appears to have worked for redwoods are among the oldest living things on earth.

Human energy is naturally inclusive and in order to survive and thrive, we need to learn to consciously share our roots with others. Humans must learn to ask for support when they need it, and stand ready to give the same to those who come to ask.

Eve, a close friend, is a single mother. She have been struggling with the idea of returning to graduate school. For months she kept this desire to herself for fear of appearing immature and needy. But when she finally opened her heart to several friends who had gone back to school, she was encouraged and supported by them. They included her in their root system. As a result, Eve gained a clearer view of her next step. Because of her courage to ask for help, she put an end to her confusion and found a support group that understood her circumstances.

In the process of creating support systems, we need to be sure that those with whom we choose to share our feelings can be trusted. The best way to ascertain the trustworthiness of others is by monitoring your feelings as you talk to them. If you feel understood, you have found a grove of like-minded Redwoods.

By sharing our roots of compassion and support, like the Redwoods in California , we create a safety net in which the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Their secret is simple: Redwoods grow together in groves and intertwine their shallow roots. Thus, the roots of one tree in the grove are the roots of all the trees, interlaced underground and able to hold each tree upright no matter what kind of gale goes on above.

Let us learn how the Redwoods grow together and stand together, appreciating and intertwining their roots, staying in parallel harmony with each other and remaining perpendicular to the ground.

Prayer:

Father, let me have the courage to ask for support

when I need it.

In return, let me always be willing to support others

when they need it.

Amen.