Pampering Sarah Is Permissible

When I ask women, who seem drained, what they do to pamper themselves, many of them respond uncomprehendingly, as though I have just spoken in a foreign language.

To most of us, pampering brings to mind diapers or what we do for others. The idea of indulging ourselves is an alien concept. If it does occur, we avoid the idea because it smacks of being spoiled or selfish. After all, we've been taught to be givers rather than receivers.

Sarah, a colleague, is a workaholic and married to a man who is still a little boy in terms of accepting responsibility at home. By the time she agreed to counseling, Sarah was, in her terms, "a raving, ranting bitch." According to her, the bitchiness came from her anger at being the only adult in the family shouldering career, housework, and childcare. In the process of attempting to change her husband, Sarah had totally neglected herself and her emotional safety net was virtually nonexistent. Her nerves were frayed to the breaking point and she was lashing out in frustration.

Her family and friends encouraged her to stop working so hard, instead, to start taking care of herself and to learn to believe that she is worth pampering. It was very difficult for Sarah to let go and step into such change. With no other option, she began by allowing herself one hour a week in the luxury of a body spa. Eventually, she realized that the pampering made her more confident, rested and happy. Following that, she cared for herself in small ways, such as saying no when she feels like it, and in interesting ways, like saving money for a travel to Thailand.

Her husband and children adapted quickly. They have accepted Sarah's need to take care of her. Consequently, they agreed to take responsibility for her other chores. Sarah is now happier and healthier.

Like Sarah, Sarah Palin is a woman, and hails from a blue-collar background. In her speech to the Republican convention, Palin pointedly described her family as working-class, saying her husband was "a lifelong commercial fisherman... a production operator in the oil fields of Alaska's North Slope... a proud member of the United Steel Workers' Union." Like other women, she is required to pay attention to varied and unexpected occurrences. Thus, it is possible that the demands of the current political campaign exceed her energy, and that the $150,000 expenditure on clothing and make-up of Gov. Sarah Palin must be her way of pampering herself - coping creatively with the demands and difficulties of America's massively huge 2008 Presidential Campaign.

Weave a pampering pattern into your safety net. Make a list of ways in which you would like to pamper you, and then, start with small steps. Have the courage! Indulge! You are worthy of receiving as well as giving. Pampering and taking care of you is a healthy thing to do. You'll be better with it!